Cougar dating

What is a MILF?

A MILF is usually an attractive older woman who has children. The word itself is an acronym for “Mother I'd Like to Fuck” and, yes, it's as blunt as it sounds. These days it's also used more loosely for an attractive mature woman, whether she's a mum or not.

The word has been around longer than most people realise. Linguist Laurel Sutton found MILF being used by American college students in 1992, and one of the earliest recorded uses online appeared on Usenet in 1995. It was already out there before American Pie came along. The film simply threw a much bigger spotlight on it, thanks largely to Jennifer Coolidge playing Stifler's mum.

Since then, MILF has spawned a whole little family of slang. There's yummy mummy, the British term for an attractive mum, which has a slightly less filthy ring to it. There's cougar, usually used for an older woman who dates younger men. A woman can easily be both. Then there's GILF for the grandmother version, plus DILF for men and SMILF for single mothers.

The funny thing is that MILF has never really had a strict age bracket. It's more about the combination of being a mother, being mature and being seriously attractive. You know one when you see one. The label just happens to be a rather crude way of saying it.

Why are MILFs so damn appealing?

For a lot of men, it's not simply about finding an older woman attractive. There's something about a woman who's been around the block a few times, knows herself and isn't desperate to impress anyone. She can be confident without making a song and dance about it, and sexy without having to look twenty-two.

Dating a MILF can feel different from dating women your own age. Maybe there's less awkwardness. Less guessing. Less of the endless “where is this going?” conversation when neither person really knows. She's likely to have had relationships, made a few mistakes and worked out what she actually likes in a man.

That doesn't mean every MILF wants the same thing. Far from it. Some want a younger lover and nothing more complicated. Some want someone to date properly. Some have come out of a long marriage and suddenly realised they're not nearly as finished with sex and romance as they thought they were. Others have a life they already love and just want a man who makes it more interesting.

And that's often where the attraction really starts. A woman who's comfortable saying what she wants is pretty fucking appealing. If she wants something casual, she'll tell you. If she's looking for a relationship, she'll tell you that too. If you're wasting her time, there's a decent chance she'll tell you that as well.

So the appeal of a MILF isn't just that she's older. It's the attitude that can come with it. Confidence, experience, fewer games and a much better idea of what she wants from a lover. For some men, that's exactly what makes the age difference so damn interesting (plus they are sexy as hell).